All the nightmares came today

10 PM--After a very satisfying win by the Chicago Blackhawks over the Boston Bruins in overtime, we decide to settle in. M is in his clear plastic hospital crib, swaddled tightly, L is in the hospital bed, swaddled slightly more loosely, and I am in the hospital recliner with the world's smallest "blanket" covering me from chin to knee.

11 PM--M is screaming. I get up, I check his diaper, and I give him to L to nurse.

11:30 PM--M unlatches. I take him from L, burp him, swaddle him, and put him down to sleep. I lay down and pull the "blanket" over 3/5s of my body and try to find a comfortable position.

11:31 PM--M is screaming. I pick him up and rock him. He sniffles, but being in my arms seems to calm him. I sing to him, and hold him tight. Then I put him down.

11:35'PM--M is screaming.

It is at this point that I begin to wonder if I am a bad parent. The night before this, M had gone down and slept for two four-hour chunks. Tonight, though, (his second night on earth) he is having none of it.

"Maybe he's afraid of the dark." This is the best that I can come up with.

"Maybe?"

"Let's leave the light on, and see if that helps." It doesn't.

The night nurse comes in a few minutes later.

"Oh, poor baby. Do you want me to take him to the nursery so you can sleep?"

L and I look at each other. We were so proud of ourselves for keeping M the night before. We were so sure that we were "Good Parents" for not putting him in baby storage. But, it's tempting. It is so very tempting to send him away so that we can sleep and be functional tomorrow.

"No, I think we'll try to muddle through." I hope that I have received L's signal correctly.

"He'll sleep better if you shut this light off"

The night nurse takes the measurements she needs from M and leaves.

"Right?" I ask, "You didn't want her to take him, did you?"

"No, no." L says, "Here, why don't I hold him and let you rest for a bit."

12:47 AM--M is screaming.

I decide that it is time to break out the five Ss. They are "Swing.  Swaddle. Shhh. Sing? and.... one additional S word." Unfortunately, despite my obvious mastery of these baby soothing techniques, M still refuses to sleep.

1:30 AM--The night nurse comes back.

"Ok, let me hold him." She swings M, and makes a static noise in his ear. He immediately relaxes.

"Such a sweet boy," she coos. "Why don't you let me keep him with me for a bit?"

"That would be great. Thank you."

5:30 AM--I wake up. The night nurse is going over shift change information while M nurses. I pick up the folder the hospital gave us when we got our room. A pamphlet falls out. In big, bold letters it advertises its contents: "Your Baby's Second Night: What You Need to Know."